When Ego Gets in the Way


An out-of -control ego is blind to its destructive power. Whether an ego is too big or too small is less important than the amount of pain it causes.  Since an unregulated ego is very hard to see, here are three symptoms of being under its influence:

1. A lack of insight that what feels good in the present can lead to pain in the long run.

2. An unwillingness to consider good advice that runs counter to what one wants.

3. An urgency to do what one wants and an inability to focus on healthier ways of getting one's needs met

There are many factors that limit insight into the demands of one's ego. These include mood swings, family patterns, addiction and habitual choices for a few.  The good news is a person who is willing to do whatever it takes to develop proper ego function can succeed. Here are a few of the ways help regulate the ego:

1. Be willing to ask for and let in the advice and support of friends and family.

2. Realize that everyone makes mistakes, and everyone makes a fool out of themselves sometimes.

3. Become someone you can trust. To trust oneself is to love oneself.

4. Seek professional advice and be willing to experiment with new approaches to your problems

5. Know that people already see us as we are, not what we pretend to be.

6. Cultivate gratitude. It is the underpinning of the sort of humility in life that helps us to fall more gracefully, get up again and learn.

I Wish You the Best,

Cheryl Deaner, LMFT