Codependency has many voices. But when it comes down to it, they are all just forms of mental distraction, or even obsession, with another person. Do any of these voices below resonate with you:
They're a diamond in the rough - and I will polish off those rough edges.
I couldn't wait to see them, so why did I screw it up when I did?
I'll let them think they're in control.
I wonder what they are doing now? I hope it's not. . .
Well, that will never happens again.
After that disaster they are treating me so well – it must have been what was needed.
I'll just get remove the temptation, (ie, the other person, the bottle, racing forms, online pornography, fill in the blank).
Once we have a child, all of this will be forgotten.
I made my bed – so I guess I deserve to lay in it.
It's a parent's role is to sacrifice for their children – and eventually they will get better.
I know I said it before, but this time I mean it – this is their last chance. . .
Codependency is a habit. And like any other habit it can be broken. Starting to focus on oneself instead of someone else is the way to break it. If you need some support to do this, don't be afraid to ask. You don't have to do it all alone.