Don't Pretend to be Non-monogamous...


…unless you truly are. As a therapist I often see people reeling from the pain of trying out “non-monogamy” in order to keep someone in their lives. The idea of losing someone can be dreadful. But the trauma of non-monogamy when you don’t really want it is almost always going to be worse.

There are, of course, plenty of people who make a healthy choice to be non-monogamous. But couples should both be clear on why they want to bring someone else into their relationship. Boundaries should be set. A community that can function as a support system may also be an asset. This is truly different than agreeing to be non-monogamous because your partner wants to see someone besides you.