Codependency can be hard to understand because caring relationships seem so natural for most people. So where does one draw the line between healthy caring and codependency? Here are three indicators:
1) Trying to get someone to change - this can take considerable amounts of time and head space. Despite this, your well-meaning plans to help others or improve situations rarely work, if ever.
2) Being "fed up" with a partner, child friend or colleague while also feeling quite attached to them. This can lead to resentment and anger, which are exhausting and further harm the relationship.
3) Not knowing what you want while being overly aware of what others want. If you find yourself trying to provide everyone else with what they want and need without a clear sense of what you want and need, you may be codependent.
It is easy to feel obsession with another person without really being that aware of just how high the price is in terms of self-neglect.
Almost all people feel codependent at some time in their lives. Indeed, codependency is appropriate between children and parents during much of childhood. But as adults, we can chose to implement the tools needed to implement more joyful and satisfying ways of relating to those we most care about.