It is sometimes hard to see that someone you know is taking advantage of you because you may have many all sorts of feelings about them. And It can be hard to confront someone who may not realize that their behavior leaves you feeling exploited.
Perhaps you may feel sorry for someone who has a difficult past, or you may be a naturally emphatic person. You might have a pattern or care taking in relationships, but realize this person is taking it too far. Why it is happening is not as important as ending the behavior!
Here are three tips for stopping someone from using you:
1) Get over the fear you will be disliked for speaking your truth. It is more important that the behavior stop, and the person will probably respect you more in the end. Be prepared that they may initially react to what you tell them but that the reaction will likely pass.
2) Set firm boundaries about the behavior that feels wrong and don't give in.
3) Refuse to let yourself feel bad because you have to confront an issue you may have been avoiding. Sometimes people tell me they feel stupid or ashamed for letting the situation go on so long, Sometimes they feel guilty for their part in cultivating a relationship that doesn’t work for them. These feelings are can obscure reality. The reality is that when you stand up for yourself you are changing how you relate to the world and yourself in a healthy way.