Everyone makes bad decisions. Unless of course you are perfect, and even saints made mistakes before they become realized. Once you make a mistake it cannot be undone and it frequently becomes easier to repeat This repetition simply ups the ante for punishment in the end.

The mind is a funny thing. It can tell you "It's alright. No one will find out, no one will get hurt." But in the meantime, what happens to you? Are you still able to feel the same way about yourself? Do you find yourself having to hide things for people you care about, or fear, or want nothing to do with?

Since mistakes are inevitable, it is usually best to find someone that you can trust to listen to you without revealing your secret. Try to sort out with this confidant how to resolve your mistake. You might be surprised that what you have done is not as bad as you think. Or maybe that there is a guilt that you should learn to live with in order to not hurt a person that is innocent. The main thing is, by not keeping your secret to yourself, you take responsibility for yourself. You move on.

You are the main victim of your own bad decisions. If you treat yourself with enough kindness and firmness there is a good chance that you will be able to resolve your mistake with the least amount of hurt involved for everyone.

Warm Regards, Cheryl Deaner, LMFT