Desperation brings many people to therapy because their efforts seem not good enough in a seemingly hopeless situation. Desperate people make bad decisions most of the time. They just want to relieve the relentless anxiety and pressure to do something, and it backfires. Desperation can lead to things like ending a relationship, quitting work or moving across country without really having a plan. In the worst case, suicidal thoughts arise out of desperation.
If you are feeling desperate you actually do have options that you temporarily cannot see. Stop trying to fix what is broken. Being desperate puts you in a tight-fitting box and you can see only a little of the whole picture through the slats. Here are three ways to start to defuse desperation:
1) Don't do anything right away. The feeling that you need to do something now is usually not true. Wait 24 hours and your situation will look different.
2) Do your best. If it doesn't work, walk away peacefully because you have done what you can. This is the basis of humility. Don't give in to pride as it will lead you right back to desperation. Go inward and look at what you really need. Step out of the story of what others have done.
3) Don't let yourself continue to lead a life of “quiet desperation” focusing on people, places and things as a way to avoid your problems. If your best effort has led to your feeling desperate, then you probably need to find a therapist, mentor, spiritual leader or trusted friend to help you to go inward.
And please know you can contact me today for a free 15 minute consultation today to look at your options for getting out of your own way. Because no one should have to feel desperate.