Almost everyone knows that feelings and thoughts are different, but sometimes it is hard to acknowledge. One's ego is out there, the need for love, anger...and suddenly feelings sure do feel like facts!
Codependency feeds upon ones emotional needs that have been so neglected it can be almost impossible to untangle the real from the unreal. For instance, the belief that sub-standard behavior in a partner will change on account of love. Or that anger of a perceived snub is justified, or that pain ignored just disappears.
Once we believe our feelings are just the same as thinking, it is easy for reality to become distorted and for someone to get just exactly what they don't want.
So when your feelings and thoughts are racing about a situation, just stop. Think it through. One always had the option to chose a productive action rather than a reaction. A little pause before reacting can change a life.
Cheryl Deaner. LMFT 36764